May 20 – Ruminations on yesterday’s birthday (bionic text)

The other day, somebody ( I want to say Dani Shapiro ) posted a quote by Renata Adler: “Self-pity” is just sadness, I think, in the pejorative.” It was my birthday week, which comes on the heels of Mother’s Day, and those words made me reflect on them. Then yesterday morning – the big day […]

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March 15 – only Now ֎

Recently, I had the uncanny experience of sending a friend of Caitlin’s a rare gift – a baby present that Caitlin had purchased in Bruges in 2011, in the event that this friend ever had a little boy. Mieke recently gave birth to a son and what a pleasure, to send that tiny Dutch knitted […]

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July 16 – Magic Caitlin

It’s a wondrous thing to create a child, send her out into the world, and see what happens. Caitlin’s life influenced many others and over the years, especially the last few, it’s been heartening to learn how. One friend from her high school days is an artist and a few months ago, told me she […]

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Mother’s day – “Everybody has some kind of….”

This morning, Nick and I were talking about the fact that some people seem to be afraid to read Little Matches when a friend sent me a message: I hadn’t yet started LITTLE MATCHES because a friend’s son is dying of cancer, and I didn’t think I had the emotional capacity. Last night, however, your […]

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MAY 3 – One spark at a time

I asked some of Caitlin’s friends if they would want to write up a little something that I could put on my website. Here, Kenley describes Caitlin as only a lifelong best friend from childhood can. Someone recently asked me how I thought Caitlin might feel about Little Matches being out in the world. I […]

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April 20 – Little matches 🔥

Hello to every wonderful human who has been with me here since December, 2016. Your support sustained me, and encouraged me to write LITTLE MATCHES. And now… it is here. It is my greatest wish that it will inspire every reader to think deeply about life, and purpose, and about what’s really important at the […]

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MARCH 23 – FOUR MORE TUESDAYS 🕯

Three years ago right now I was in Italy at a literary workshop. I had 25 pages of Little Matches written but I still I had no idea whether it would ever become a book. When I arrived home, I resumed my practice of setting a timer every day and sitting down to write “no […]

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DECEMBER 20 — 2020202020202020

I’ll just say this: as bad as 2020 was, for us it was nothing compared to 2016. I cannot believe it’s four years. Four. How? The knowledge makes my head spin like a small planet, like its moon — time moving inexorably forward forward forward yet tricking you with its revolutions, its constant circling back […]

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SEPTEMBER 18 — Matches struck in the dark

Update needed, as Caitlin would say. Three years ago today, on the 9-month anniversary of her lung transplant, during a walk around Walden Pond, I decided to start writing what I called “the Caitlin book.” I wasn’t even sure what kind of book it would be, or if I could manage to write it, but […]

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DECEMBER 18–It’s a Go

Bottom line for all who are holding their breath: At 8:30 am, Caitlin was taken to the OR. At 9:30, we got word that the blessed donor lungs are good and that surgery will begin as these lungs make their way to Caitlin. (It’s a carefully timed and choreographed surgical dance.) This will be a […]

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