JANUARY 31–Half-Birthday, Groundhog Pup

Caitlin O'Hara, Cystic Fibrosis, Little Matches

I’ve been doing some reading about grief and neural pathways and how grieving morosely can become a chronic habit. I believe that eventually we want to be in the position of celebrating Caitlin’s life as opposed to mourning her death, as a friend said last week. So I’m going to make an effort right now […]

Read More

JANUARY 30–Windows Left Open

I haven’t seen Hamilton yet, but I know the music well and I keep thinking of the lyrics… The world turned upside down 🎶      My God, it’s so upside down right now, but everyone’s protesting, speaking up. It feels good, but if you’re feeling helpless, you can start here: Join the American Civil Liberties Union […]

Read More

JANUARY 28– The Answer, from Caitlin

When Caitlin was a small, small person and had frequent hospitalizations and weeks of home courses of IVs and then a long, serious surgery at age 11, my mother would always marvel at her. “She’s so stoic,” she would say. But it wasn’t like Caitlin didn’t have fears or anxiety. It was just that she […]

Read More

JANUARY 24–The Price We Pay

We are home. We decided to fly out of San Francisco on Saturday. It was time; we need to get things done here. I was sorry to miss the marches, but as my good friend Ellen pointed out: I wasn’t sure I could go into the Boston apartment, never mind sleep there, but we did, […]

Read More

JANUARY 20–‘In the Dark May You See’

January 20. Caitlin’s been gone a month, and many of us are sharing a national day of mourning. My friend, the wonderful writer Jennie Fields, just shared two new poems written by her friend Kory Wells. These poems really speak to me, and I hope they will speak to you as well. “In the dark […]

Read More

JANUARY 19–Words from Jess

Jess wrote a post on her own blog today. It’s beautiful and here it is: Castro avoided over 600 assassination attempts throughout his life, but even he couldn’t hide from 2016.  2017 is the year of the Rooster and the year that a person who has never held public office is slated to become the […]

Read More

JANUARY 17–In the Redwood Forest

Below is a screenshot of Caitlin’s Instagram from our trip home in September, 2015, when she got to visit the Prouty Garden one last time.  As I’ve mentioned, the current Children’s Hospital administration made their decision to cut down/kill the Prouty Garden’s 65 foot Dawn Redwood tree this past December, the same day Caitlin went […]

Read More

JANUARY 16–Ropes Course for Souls

Big Sur. I had it in my head that we needed to get here. The glorious, big days are somewhat easy here. Night is still night, and nights are hard. At 2am the night before last, after getting a dozen messages from people telling me of signs they were sure they received from Caitlin’s soul, […]

Read More

JANUARY 13–Glowing in the Dark with Mary

We have been here a week—feels like much, much longer. The rains kept us from going straight to Big Sur as we had planned, but that turned out to be a good thing. We were made to live inside the moments we found ourselves in. We did things we hadn’t planned to do: see Malibu […]

Read More

JANUARY 12–A Sampling of Messages

People are asking how Nick is. He’s not on social media, so it’s hard for people to tell. He’s up and down, as am I, but we are a pretty seasoned see-saw act, and we are doing okay. We do both want to say how very grateful we are for all of the wonderful messages […]

Read More