DECEMBER 18 — “God was in the room”

So it’s been a year since Caitlin’s transplant. A fact that’s as hard to believe as her absence. This post from that day, if the lungs had come a month earlier, before the weeks on ECMO…. … too painful to think about, really. So. I’m going to let Caitlin’s words take over, with thanks to […]

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NOVEMBER 16–& the Anniversaries Begin

I know all the dates. Yesterday a year ago was the last night Caitlin would ever sleep in her own bed. That night, she was so weak she did not have the strength to sit in the bathtub and let me wash her hair. I was so alarmed I emailed her doctor at 10pm. On […]

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OCTOBER 31 — Thinning of the Veil

Caitlin’s friend Shelley and I were just talking about the origins of Halloween—Samhain. She sent along a great link about all that, and about the “thinning of the veil” that supposedly occurs during this autumn/winter transition point: Halloween, Samhain, and the Thinning Veil. She said she was interested in paganism. I said, “I agree. Connected […]

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SEPTEMBER 26 — The Caitlin Book

From a little notebook of Caitlin’s: April 27th, 2012 I am grateful for — My parents My friends My apartment & car My dog My ability to be able to go out and have fun even though I’m sick. In July of 2014, 6 months into full time care-giving, I realized that I hadn’t worked […]

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SEPTEMBER 6–In the Meantime..

I’d like to recognize/document summer, and appreciate the continued kindness and interest in what is going on with us. VISITORS They started with Caitlin’s “main” ICU nurse, Erin, who visited us with her husband and three charming little daughters (3 under age 5!) in June.  They called me “Miss Maryanne,” and Nick, “Uncle Mike.” In […]

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SEPTEMBER 6 — What will happen?

I keep thinking we can turn back time. An illogical thought, of course, and one which only lasts for a second, but which comes to me every single day. Inside my kitchen medicine cabinet, I have always tacked up recipes, poems, cholesterol counts, phone numbers of relatives in Ireland. I noticed this calendar last week. […]

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JULY 31–From Martha’s Vineyard

If someone had told us, last summer, that Caitlin would get her transplant and that we would be celebrating her next birthday on the Vineyard, we would have been overjoyed. Caitlin loved it here. We came here for two magical weeks after her months in the hospital when she was 11. There were teenage years […]

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